Statement on Youth (September 16, 2000)

There is a scripture in Proverbs which reads, "Bring a child up in the way he should go and he will not depart therefrom when they are old." (Or words to that affect.)

I remember being given a pad of paper with this written on it when my children were small. The pad also included a list of "chores" that, presumably, children were to do so that they would continue to do them "when they are old".

I grew up in a college town, and taught college for many years. By culture in the United States this means that there are a lot of young adults who have just left "the nest," quite often for the first time. This gives me a different view of this scripture.

When this subject comes up, most parents use this as a command to "control" the lives of their children. Even in church activities, I hear parents who have classes in how to "control" their children. Presumably, as the paper I mentioned above tended to indicate, if parents force their children to be "good kids" when they are at home, they will be once they leave home.

Parents. I have news for you. It ain't true. How many times have I seen children from "good homes: where the parents forced the children to attend church every Sunday "so they won't be lost to God" (or some such), How many times have I seen children in this state leave home never to attend church again. (Or, in the case of some, never to attend church again until they have their own experience with the almighty.)

Therefore, I can see some of my "liberal" friends saying, "This proves the scriptures are not always true." Yet this is not the case. I read a book a number of years ago that brought out the fact that this could mean, "Bring a child up according to his (or her) natural bend, and he (she) will not depart therefrom when he (she) is old." This leads to an entirely different view being expressed.

Suddenly, it is not me "forcing" my children into some mold which I have chosen for them, rather is it in forcing them into some mold which the Lord has chosen, certainly not me. Using this interpertation, I can believe this scripture to be true.

This leads to a different approach to parenting. Rather than me trying to decide things for my children, I am forced into the mold of trying to find out who my children are, so that I can help them try to find their own solutions to lifes problems. Solutions that I may not even think of.

(To be continued)